


When she was just a girl, she expected the world.

by danika (persephone20)



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-27
Updated: 2012-03-01
Packaged: 2017-10-31 19:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/persephone20/pseuds/danika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn would have liked Rachel, had she been left to her own devices. Unfortunately, Finn was always the one who kept them apart.</p><p>References the first season. Follow me on <a href="http://faerywhimsy.tumblr.com/"> Tumblr</a> / <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/faerywhimsy"> Twitter</a> @ faerywhimsy for my fic and other fandom posts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic defined by a series of still shots in the Quinn/Rachel friendship/relationship. Most of them can be found here: http://faceoffailure.tumblr.com/post/9728006347/omg-shut-up-quinn-hates-rachel
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Chapter 1.**
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y40/persephone_20/?action=view&current=faberry.jpg)  
> 

Quinn Fabray was new to McKinley High School. She didn't know all the names of her teachers, the names of her classmates, hadn't even _seen_ most of the kids in her year level yet. But she walked into the halls of McKinley with her head held high and her stride strong. Nobody here would ever hear about Lucy Q. and, if they ever did, she would make sure her stay here at McKinley was so different that there would be nothing of Lucy Q. to recognise.

10am that morning was perhaps one of the most gruelling interviews of Quinn's short life. Sue Sylvester was a strong willed woman, and she didn't care about who knew it. After Principle Figgins showed Quinn where she was meant to go, the coach of the McKinley cheerleaders stood up behind her desk.

"Close the door," she said, and Quinn did so.

"So, I hear you're interested in joining the Cheerios." Sue looked up over her glasses at the slender, blonde girl with the perky ponytail. Quinn met gaze for gaze, and nodded her head.

"Yes, Ms. Sylvester."

"It's Coach," Sue corrected her. She took her glasses off and placed them on her table. "Well, Quinn. Your extra curricular activities from your old school are a bit lacking and don't show any experience that tells me you've got what it takes to be on a Nationals award winning team. Tell me why I should let you in?"

"I'm willing to work hard, to do anything I need to do to get on the team," Quinn answered obediently.

Sue sat down, considered Quinn for a long moment. "You'll have to try-out. Not everyone gets through my try-outs."

Quinn bobbed her head again. "I'm willing to try-out."

"Thursday. At 3," Sue clipped out. She was already picking up a pen and Quinn took herself to be dismissed. "And Q? If you're late, you're not having a try-out."

"I won't be late," Quinn promised.

As soon as she walked out of Coach Sylvester's office, two other girls in Cheerios uniforms sidled up beside her.

"Coach is a hard ass, but I can see you've got what it takes. You'll be on the team with us in no time," the brunette told her. "I'm Santana, that's Brittany."

Brittany lifted up her hand in a wave. 

"I'm Quinn," she started, but Santana cut her off.

"Yeah, yeah. You may not believe it, but we don't have that many new students coming into this school every year. Stick with us, Q, and you'll be a shoe in for ruling this school alongside with us." It was the same nick-name that Coach had saddled her with. Santana linked her arms with Quinn, and Quinn had to admit, there were a whole lot of worse things than striding around the school with Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce. 

Soon enough, she was on the Cheerios, striding around the school in the same uniform as Brittany and Santana. 

And then, she was dating Finn Hudson, the captain of the football team.

"He'll be good for you," Santana had told her. "You don't have to date him, god knows I don't date Puckerman. But he's Puck's best friend, so we can go on some fun double dates."

"How come Brittany doesn't already date Finn?" Finn and Puck weren't standing too far away from them, so Quinn could see what he looked like. He wasn't _too_ hideous. His forehead was a bit big, maybe. It didn't look like there was anything major wrong about him.

"Are you kidding?" Santana slid a fond look to her best friend. "Between the two of them, I'd be scared they'd spend whole dates staring at the ceiling." 

Quinn noticed that Santana ran her hand along Brittany's arm to show her she didn't mean anything by it. Quinn didn't think anything of it. 

"You're smart. That's good. Just, try not to use big words around him. Come on, we'll introduce you."

*

The first time Quinn saw Rachel Berry, it was by a water fountain. Rachel was smoothing her long brown hair back from her face when their eyes met for a second. 

"Sorry," she said stepping back. "I didn't mean to be in your way."

Rachel didn't know yet why Rachel deferred to Quinn, but it left her with a sense of security that she found she liked.

"That's okay. Just... don't do it again." She said it with a smile, meaning to invite Rachel into the joke being had between them. Rachel's eyes widened, but then relaxed as she caught onto the joke. 

"You must be Quinn Fabray. The new girl," Rachel said.

"I guess you don't get very many new kids," Quinn answered, feeling kind of chuffed that Rachel knew who she was and seemed to think highly enough of her.

Rachel shrugged lightly into the pale, fitted t-shirt she was wearing. "Not to small high school in Lima, no."

Quinn's lips quirked up at that. "Well, I'm sure we'll be seeing each other around."

Rachel smiled more quickly this time. "I'm sure we will!" 

She nodded once at Quinn, before turning around and walking down the hall. Quinn stood and watched for a moment as Rachel walked away, a definite spring in her stride. That was when Santana and Brittany came up behind her. Santana slung an arm over Quinn's shoulders.

"Making a friend outside of the Cheerios, Q?"

Quinn smiled, yeah, before stepping forward and actually taking a drink from the water fountain Rachel had just vacated. She was still paying some attention to what was going on behind her when Santana added,

"Potentially dangerous move. Especially when I've seen her making eyes around Finn lately."

"I'd make eyes around Finn," Brittany murmured. "But I wouldn't want him to eat them."

Quinn straightened from her drink at the water fountain and cast a glance down the corridor. Rachel had long since disappeared, but Quinn still held the gentle expression of the brunette girl in her mind's eye. She had felt bad at the fact that she might have been in the way when Quinn wanted the water fountain. She couldn't imagine Rachel being the kind of girl who would make a play at another girl's boyfriend. Not and look her in the eye when they came across each other for the first time at school.

She didn't quite believe Santana's words until the first time she saw Rachel standing outside Finn's locker. Finn was looking into his locker and Rachel was leaning into him, talking to him intently. Quinn felt the insides of her freeze as she watched them. Finn shakes his head once, before walking away. Quinn's not sure what she would have done if Santana hadn't been standing next to her at the time. 

"Told you," she hissed. "Let's get this shit sorted now."

She was off towards Rachel and Finn before Quinn could say a word. Quinn followed thinking that, at the very least, she could avert some potential disaster. 

On the contrary, Santana was looking towards Quinn, waiting for her to make a move as Quinn tried to decide what one of the most popular girls in the school should say in this kind of situation.

She makes her tone deliberately scathing, and then hopes that it works because she's never spoken to anyone out loud like this before. "You know how you said you didn't mean to be in my way?" Quinn looked briefly to Santana. Santana looked proud. "Well, you are. I mean it, Berry. Stay away from him."

As the weeks wore on, Santana and Quinn's insults became more inventive than simply saying Rachel's last name. The more public they could make it, the better. Both girls picked their moment until they were all standing outside of Finn's locker, not waiting for him to conveniently walk away before making a scene this time. 

"Hi Finn. RuPaul. What are you doing talking to her?" By now, this tone of voice had become quite comfortable within the skin of head cheerleader Quinn. Even Santana often deferred to her now, though she could tell that the Latin Cheerio was disappointed that it hadn't been her who'd been chosen to captain the Cheerios. Maybe it was about who Quinn was dating. It made a pretty picture that the head cheerleader going out with the captain of the football team.

All the more reason she wasn't about to lose him.

"Science project, we're partners." Rachel answered quickly, but Quinn wasn't buying that. She wasn't buying that, didn't buy it even more when she saw the way Finn's eyes flickered between her and Rachel. And the fact that they were lying about it meant that there was something to lie about. 

In front of Santana, she didn't know what she could say to that. She just knew she couldn't back down. 

But, in truth, that's the beginning of the end of Quinn's unchallenged and comfortable sit at the top. She could feel herself slipping. She had had to lose a whole lot of weight and get a nose job to walk around McKinley as though she owned it. A part of her wanted to make things harder on Rachel until Rachel caved and did the same kind of hard work Quinn had done. But seeing that she didn't have to, seeing the way Finn looked at her anyway, that was worse.

And the more she tried to hold onto him, the more he just sort of... slid away.

"We are in line to become the most popular kids in this school for the next couple years. Prom king and queen. Homecoming court royalty." Quinn paused in order to make the importance of all of these statements clear to him. "I am not giving up those shiny crowns just so you can express yourself."

Glee club. She'd heard Coach biting out those words as though they were expletives and Quinn could understand it. From where she stood, it was a poison that was tainting her relationship with the captain of the football team and was single-handedly threatening her position in this school.

And everyone knew who the unofficial leader of the Glee club was. 

"Eavesdrop much?" she demanded of Rachel, once Finn slunk away. It was the first time they'd had a conversation alone since that time at the water fountain. Already, she could see the defences lining up behind Rachel's eyes. Quinn didn't care. That she had liked this girl on first meeting was irrelevant. She wouldn't, _couldn't_ let that get in the way. "Time for some girl talk, manhands. You can dance with him, you can sing with him, but you will never have him."

Rachel hesitates only a moment before speaking. Maybe it's the look on Quinn's face. Maybe it's the knowledge that, if she shows weakness now, she won't gain the upper hand again. "I understand why you would feel threatened. Finn and I made a connection, but I’m a honorable person, I don’t need to steal your man, I have plenty of suitors of my own. Everyday Glee status is going up, and yours is going down. Deal with it."

Quinn had about half a dozen comments lined up in answer to that, each more scathing than the last. But, when some random guy with a slushie came past and threw a slushie in Rachel's face, Quinn laughed. There really wasn't any answer that topped that for timing. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter 2. ******
> 
>   
>  [ ](http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y40/persephone_20/?action=view&current=faberry-1.jpg)   
> 

She didn't know why she did these things. At her old school, she'd been picked on herself, so she knew better than many people how it felt. Every so often, she'd see this soft, kicked puppy expression in Rachel's eyes before she pulled herself up and lifted her chin before resolutely taking herself to the bathroom. Quinn recognised something of herself in the other girl. Something of herself that she didn't want to admit. Sometimes, she was just tempted to follow her into the bathroom and say sorry, if she hadn't thought Rachel would find that completely threatening. 

Other times, she went home and told herself that she'd be less mean to Rachel next time. But then next time would come, and Santana would be standing next to her, or Rachel would be standing next to Finn and Quinn would see red and start lashing out. She couldn't even seem to help it. It didn't matter that she hadn't much even wanted Finn when Santana had first floated the idea before her. She knew now that she didn't want _Rachel_ to have him.

Pretty soon, most of that stuff became irrelevant anyway.

It was a stupid mistake. Puck had shown some interest in her the last time she'd gone looking for Finn. He hadn't been there of course, but Puck had a smile that was pretty much good for charming and nothing else. That would have been fine, not easy to ignore, but easy not to do anything about if Santana hadn't made some nasty comment about Quinn not being able to keep her boyfriend in the same day. Finn was the only boy that she'd ever had attention from before and, if Santana was right and she wasn't able to keep him, she wanted to be able to have attention from _someone_. Puck was just as good a person as any. 

While Santana and Brittany tittered about that for a while, Quinn felt pretty much peripheral, alone, even surrounded by two of her best friends. It didn't seem like it was meant to be that way. But, if Santana and Brittany were making fun of her, then everyone would see that, and soon everyone would be making fun of her. Just like last time.

And so she slept with Puck. 

She probably would have baulked at the last moment, even with all this stuff going through her head. But then Puck bought wine coolers around, "Just to keep the mood mellow, you know?" and Quinn had a little problem of misplacing her inhibitions. 

It wasn't all bad though. 

Puck walked into her parents' house as though he owned it. That was definitely something Quinn appreciated about Puck. Finn just didn't have the shamelessness of his best friend. Neither one of them spoke about Finn, just as neither one of them talked about Santana. It was sort of unspoken but kind of deliberate on both their parts, Quinn guessed.

Puck cracked the first wine cooler over and handed it to her. 

"I don't drink this stuff around dudes," Puck said, after taking the first sip. "They'd never let me live it down. But chicks like you are nicer about that shit." He inclined his head as he reached out to clink his bottle against hers. They both took a deep swig, then Puck set the full power of that charming smile on her again. "I trust you won't rag on me."

"No," Quinn said, with another swig, and a smile. "I won't rag on you."

She didn't know what would have happened if her parents had have come barging into her room and found a boy in there that night. Thankfully, she'd been surreptitious enough about letting Puck into her house and her room that her parents never knew he was there. And, at the end of the night, he'd been good enough to offer to climb down the trellises rather than going out the front door.

"I've done this before," he reassured her, when she felt a pang of worry he would get hurt.

That admission caused another pang in Quinn, a pang that could not so easily be ignored by refusing to verbalise it by name. He'd done this before. Mental images fly past Quinn's mind's eye, images of him crawling out the window from Santana and who knows who else's windows before she'd let him climb out of hers.

He'd told her he loved her. Quinn hadn't known what to make it that then -certainly she hadn't said it back to him- but now she wonders how many times he's offered that line as well. 

The whole night -this whole stupid mistake- had been shown up for what it really was and Puck hadn't even left her room yet.

"Hey..." Puck said, and Quinn belatedly realised that Puck wasn't quite so careless and oblivious as she'd allowed herself to believe in those seconds. He walked towards her and put a gentle hand on her bare arm. "It's going to be okay," he said, and his warm, chocolatey eyes invited her to believe in him. Encouraged her to believe in him. 

He climbed out the window and then it wasn't so bad. Wasn't so bad, at least, until she found out that she was pregnant.

*

Step one was, of course, making sure nobody ever found out. Quinn sat in the in her en suite with the pregnancy test in her hand, staring at the little pink lines, before shoving it and its packaging in three separate plastic bags and shoving them in the bottom of her backpack to be disposed of on the way to school the next day. It didn't take her long to realise that step one was not particularly rational. Her body was going to change and people were going to notice. But not that she'd been with Puck. She thought that she could even manage people looking at her if they thought that the baby was Finn's. And she'd never have to face Santana and have to tell her that she'd cheated on her with Puck. Even if she'd been annoyed at Santana for the way she'd talked to her about her and Finn, Santana was still one of the best friends she had.

Step two was providing the situation where Finn could be caught in a position that he would think he could possibly have fathered a child. Not through sex, though. After what had happened this time, she didn't want to go and have sex again. Even with protection this time. With her luck, she'd probably end up with HIV anyway. But that left big question marks in the box of what she and Finn could do together that would convince him he'd managed to make her pregnant.

Step three was the hot tub.

*

When Puck confronted her about the baby, it was like he was a completely different man to the one she'd invited into her bedroom. It was only something she understood much later that he'd been reacting out of self-preservation and hurt. At the time, all of her self-preservation instincts had been in place and her finely tuned abilities to lash out hurt only made things worse for both of them. 

"You make it a habit of sleeping with 'your boy's' girlfriends?" Quinn spat at him, but she no longer The enjoyment of the role of Bitch Queen of the School had had a short run, but it was over now. Unfortunately, her actions meant there were reverberations still that would continue to require that kind of behaviour if she was to hope to survive. 

Puck narrowed his eyes at her, before lifting his arms in an over-exaggeration of surprise. "Well, call the Vatican! We've got ourselves another immaculate conception!" It didn't seem like he cared about who knew or overheard this conversation. Quinn's heart leapt to her throat. Lesson one: people were always listening. Especially in a school like Quinn had come to learn McKinley was. 

She had to keep this conversation short and cutting. Already, she could feel the threat of tears stinging at the back of her throat, making her voice sound thicker when it came out of her mouth.

Thankfully, Puck really didn't know her well enough to notice the difference. "I had sex with you 'cause you got me drunk on wine coolers, and I felt fat that day. But it was a mistake. You're a Lima loser, and you're always gonna be a Lima loser."

He didn't say anything after that. Quinn thought that she might have shocked both of them with how cruel she could be. But there was no way she could take any of it back without chancing Puck reaching out to her again, without her breaking down and sobbing all over him until he told her it was alright.

And it wasn't alright. Any of it. And both of them being seen in the school hall while she cried over him and he comforted her, instead of Finn comforting her, was not going to make any of this _alright_

*

She shouldn't have been surprised when Rachel came up to her. Weeks and weeks of slushies, and name calling, of no overtures that even acknowledged their first meeting by the water fountain, and Rachel -of all people- had the grace and sense of compassion to approach Quinn now.

Quinn knew she didn't deserve it.

"You don't think people whisper about me in the lunchrooms? Or draw pornographic pictures of me on the bathroom walls?"

Quinn swallowed. If they were to have any chance at repairing or rebuilding the promise of friendship, Quinn knew she had to be straight with her. Rachel couldn't be allowed to hear it from anybody else. "That was me, actually."

She watched as Rachel opened and closed her mouth a few times. It might have be the first time Quinn had ever seen her without an instant rebuttal. She recovered herself, though.

It was all about Glee club that Rachel preached, of course. Quinn couldn't help but think Rachel missed her calling as an evangelist.

She shook her head, neither agreeing or denying Rachel's words, before saying, "I would have tortured you if the roles were reversed, you know?"

Rachel didn't even look surprised. Quinn felt ashamed of the girl she'd become when the other girl -the girl she used to be- answered simply, "I know."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter 3.**
> 
> [](http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y40/persephone_20/?action=view&current=faberry-2.jpg)

It became very easy to forget that it was Quinn's own indiscretion that had caused the current problem. Problems between Finn and Quinn only intensified after the news was broken to him. Whether it was pregnancy, hormones, or Quinn's own sense of entitlement, it was Finn who took the brunt of her fear, her rage and her upset. 

It was easy to get angry at him when he thought of naming the baby Drizzle. When he couldn't find a job. When he wouldn't stop spending time with Rachel. What made it even easier were the silent moments, when she saw in his eyes the love for a child that had turned Quinn's life upside down and hadn't even been born yet! 

Was Finn going to become completely enamoured with everyone who wasn't Quinn?

She should never have allowed Santana to introduce them to each other. Things grew steadily cooler between her and Santana, even though Santana didn't know yet about Quinn sleeping with Puck. (Quinn hoped.) She was pretty sure Quinn didn't know what that was about.

"What are you, on your rag?" Quinn dared to ask.

"Don't take your insecurities out on me," Santana snapped back. 

Quinn raised her eyebrows and lifted her hands. "Fine," she said. "Whatever." 

It wasn't any surprise, really, that he went to find comfort in Rachel. For all that Quinn and the Cheerios made her life hell, her life was so much easier than Quinn wanted it to be. There was something warm about Rachel, no matter how many times a person abused her or turned her away. While Quinn was growing progressively more and more crazy , _she_ was still someone who was there to support the people around her. Even if that person was the girlfriend of the man she thought she loved. And, now that Quinn was in Glee club with Rachel, she got to see a whole lot more of that. 

Looking at the way that Rachel was willing to take charge with fearless strength, despite having to know what kinds of things people were saying behind her back, Quinn found herself wishing more and more for the friendship that she had so carelessly thrown away the chance of having. 

Sue cured her of that. Glee club had brought Finn and Rachel together, and Sue had a plan to pull Glee apart. She had coached her in the perfect moment to strike in her office while Santana and Brittany hadn't been in there with her for once. 

"Now, what are you going to say this afternoon in Glee club?" Sue sat forward in her desk chair. 

Quinn made sure not to squirm. She had gotten a reputation as the Ice Queen, and there was no time better than to practice than when she was sitting in front of the Cheerios coach. People said that she could sniff out weakness and, after nearly six months on the team, Quinn could believe it. 

She nodded quickly, her eyes narrowing in that intense and vindictive way that she knew by now that Coach reacted to. Sue smiled. 

"Say it again."

It was embarrassing, to think that Finn would go for someone like Rachel. Not because it was Rachel, exactly. But, because when Quinn had been in Rachel's position, there had been nobody like Finn around, wishing that their girlfriend could be more like Quinn. 

Seeing Finn and Rachel singing to each other, while Quinn, Puck and Brittany merely stood around swaying in the background brought new vehemence into the words she was supposed to say by Sue's rehearsal. 

She stepped forward, one perfectly manicured hand resting hard on her hip. "Excuse me. What about us? You expect us to just sway back here like props?"

Rachel just stared at her with her mouth dropping open. Finn looked like he wanted to chastise her -chastise _her_!- and that just made Quinn want to tear him down even further. 

She had to watch the two of them leave together, preparing the next time they would get together to practice the song. 

"After all," she saw Rachel saying to Finn, laying her hand on his arm as though Quinn wasn't even watching. "Mr. Shue said we should practice day and night, until it's pitch perfect."

That was alright. That just gave Quinn time to implement phase to of Sue's plan. 

"I think Sue is right about him. He clearly doesn't like minorities."

Brittany looked up at Quinn in confusion. "What, Finn?" she asked, looking after him in disillusionment.

"She means Mr. Shue," Puck told her. He considered it for a moment, seeming disconcerted by the idea, but then he came to some silent decision, and nodded his head. 

Either way, there they both there the next time in Sue's office, preparing to leave Mr. Shue and his stupid Glee club. 

And that left her alone in rehearsal with Finn... and Rachel. 

For those couple of days, Quinn actually had fun. Finn wasn't there all the time. Quinn considered not going to those rehearsals when Finn had football practice, but there was a part of her that was curious to see what being alone with Rachel would be like in the choir room. 

Rachel looked at Quinn warily the first time she walked into the choir room. She looked down at her sheet music lain down on top of the piano, and said, "I wasn't sure you were going to show." Added, "Without Finn."

"I wasn't going to," Quinn said. Now that she was in here, she wasn't quite sure what they were supposed to be doing. This was an unsupervised session of Glee. With only two members of the Glee club even here, Quinn didn't even know if there was any reason to expect Mr. Shue would come back to supervise Glee. Maybe Sue had won already. Quinn couldn't imagine Sue coaching only two or three kids.

"We should rehearse," Rachel said quickly, as though picking up on the flavour of Quinn's thoughts. It was another example of her determined decision making skills. Now that she was here, Quinn didn't have anything better planned.

"You did say that I obviously had a lot to express," she said as she walked over to join Rachel by the piano. It was meant to come out with a whole lot of bite. Certainly, when Rachel said it the first time, Quinn had stormed off in a huff. Now, she really just believed that what Rachel had said was little more than true. 

Rachel looked startled. Quinn just raised an eyebrow.

"R-right," Rachel said, looking quickly away from Quinn again, and back down to her sheet music.

Interesting.

"I think that there is a little bit on the bridge here that could use some work." Rachel pointed to a part of the third page without looking up at Quinn again. "You have a beautiful voice, Quinn. A dedicated alto, but you need to put some work into it."

It was on the tip of Quinn's tongue to point out that she wasn't in here to put work into singing, but then Rachel chose that moment to look back up at her again. 

"If you'll let me," she said, extending a hand out to Quinn before actually touching her. Quinn tensed, a trained reaction since she'd started noticing that the very first of the baby weight had started thickening around her waist. 

If Rachel happened to notice anything of it, she made no indication. 

"You need to breathe from here," Rachel instructed her. She hesitated only a moment, and then she took Quinn's hand in hers, placing her own hand on her belly. "If you want to sing well, you have to sing from here. Not here." Rachel moved Quinn's hand from her stomach to her chest. "If you're not doing that, then you're not making it worth it for yourself."

For the first time, Quinn wasn't looking at Rachel against the way she had seen herself in her last high school as Lucy Q. As a matter of fact, she was finding herself quite distracted by the casual hold Rachel had on her hand, holding it against her stomach and her chest. She considered making a cutting comment to ruin the moment, but her throat was dry, and nothing particularly witty would come to mind.

"Fine," she said anyway, in her most grittiest of tones.

Rachel, if anything, seemed encouraged by receiving only that much in answer. 

"Well, go on." Her eyes were shining globes, inviting Quinn to share in her encouragement. "Let me feel you breathing." 

Her hand returned back to Quinn's stomach. Rachel's eyes met hers intently, giving Quinn no way out. Rachel's hand was on Quinn's stomach, a gentle yet firm pressure. That one point of contact felt like more steady support than Quinn had had in her life for months.

"In... then out. Good."

Frankly, Quinn was surprised that Rachel could feel anything like a calm and steady cycle of breath from her diaphragm. Quinn was just thankful that Rachel didn't have her hand over Quinn's heart which, from her perspective, was pounding fast and uneven.

Rachel nodded, smiled, bright eyes blinking once as she pulled her hand away from Quinn's stomach. Quinn felt that they were in the kind of zone they might have stayed in if Quinn hadn't chosen to join the Cheerios, and Finn hadn't chosen to put so much of his attention on Rachel. Rachel must have felt it too. For a minute, she shared the time comfortably with Quinn. Then the minute passed. Quinn watched as Rachel remembered the way things really were between her and Quinn, a moment before Rachel stepped back.

Quinn hated herself. A sense of the cold settled where there had just been warmth, and she wished Rachel's hand back.

...was this how it felt for Finn when he was around her?

She might have thought it was all in her own head. Certainly she ordered herself not to think about it anymore as soon as they started working on Quinn's alto range. And she was actually kinder to Finn when they met up after his football practice. It was like they had something in common now, something Quinn was ordering them both not to think about. She linked arms with him and offered him a smile before they kissed that brought out his goofy smile before he lifted a hand and waved a happy goodbye to the rest of the team mates.

That feeling lasted all the way until Sue's last appearance in Glee club.

"Or that Quinn is..."

"Is pregnant." 

Quinn felt everyone stop and stare at her after Sue's words. True, almost everyone in that room already knew the trouble Quinn found herself in. But it was a whole different thing hearing the words stated so baldly and so loud. 

There was something positive to be gained out of it. Sue didn't try to rip her Cheerios uniform off her with her bare hands. 

"Sorry, Q. It'll be all over the blogisphere by this afternoon. Now everybody knows. Including me."

Then again, maybe there was nothing positive about it at all. She struggled to breathe for the next several minutes, barely managing to make it out of the choir room -the safe, formerly friendly choir room- before falling apart in Finn's arms.

It was the first time that Mr. Shue suggested a song sung in Glee where Finn and Quinn actually interacted with each other. She forgot half of the moves and Finn had to help her fumble her way through most of it. And Rachel... 

Every time that Finn wasn't at her side, Rachel was. There wasn't anything that she said or did directly, but looks were given at particularly meaningful parts of the song. 

It was only Mr. Shue's ignorant direction that had Finn reaching down to hold both Rachel and Quinn's hands. Quinn knew that. What wasn't choreographed was the moment when her and Rachel's eyes met at the end of the song. Rachel bit her lip. Quinn did too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter 4.**
> 
> [](http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y40/persephone_20/?action=view&current=faberry-3.jpg)

Finn said a lot of pretty words. When it came down to putting actions behind them, though, he was pretty much a no show. So much so that Quinn started thinking that maybe she'd dismissed Puck too quickly.

Getting Puck to come babysitting with her was a test, a test he failed.

Santana had the last laugh that time. 

"Puck was sexting me."

Quinn felt like an idiot when she had to ask, "Sexting?" 

Santana didn't waste any time in letting Quinn know exactly how far she'd slipped in the brunette's estimations.

"Sexy texting. Seriously, what era are you from?"

Actually, when it came down to it, Quinn expected it would be Santana who would spill the beans on the whole baby drama with Finn and Puck. 

In the end it was Rachel.

Quinn wasn't mad at Rachel. She didn't have it in her to be mad. Seeing that look on Finn's face before he stormed out of the choir room took away the last of her ability for self denial. She'd been wallowing in it for so many months that having the truth of it finally set in front of you again was kind of a shock. 

She didn't feel much of anything as she sat alone. Blissfully, for once, nobody noticed her.

Nobody except for Rachel. 

Quinn looked up as the other girl slowly walked into her line of vision. Her brown eyes were so filled with remorse and, for a moment, Quinn couldn't quite remember what it was that Rachel had to feel bad about. Things had actually been good between them since Quinn had managed to blackmail Sue for a full page in the yearbook for the Glee club. Fair was fair, after all. Sue had no loyalties to speak of to anyone but herself.

Rachel stopped in front of her and scrunched up her face.

"I fully understand if you want to beat me up right now. If you can just try to avoid my nose." 

Quinn's lips parted and she looked away. Just the idea of beating Rachel up made her think of the fight between Finn and Puck. "I'm not mad at you. All you did is what I wasn't brave enough to do: tell the truth."

Rachel didn't look like she believed her. A second later, Quinn found out why. "I was selfish when I told him. I wanted to break you two up so he would wanna be with me."

Quinn didn't tell her that she realised now Finn hadn't wanted to be with her. Possibly had never wanted to be with her. That was just too demoralising to say out loud. And, if that wasn't enough, the feeling in the pit of her stomach like she was one of those women who trapped a man into staying because of a baby was even worse. 

Since she couldn't voice any of these thoughts, Quinn just said, barely above a whisper, "Can you go now? I just really wanna be alone."

Quinn watched the sight of Rachel's knee high socks and short, grey skirt disappearing down the hall. Still, it seemed as though Rachel's visit had made her visible to the eyes of the rest of the school again. It wasn't very much longer before Puck decided to come and settle down beside her. 

Possibly he had more reason to sit down and talk to her right then, but Rachel was more welcome. Quinn couldn't even make herself look at Puck.

"I honestly can't handle anymore stress in my life right now. I'm gonna do this on my own. And I need you to understand it. Please respect it."

Without giving him time to make any reply, she got up. This chair was no longer a safe space. Quinn was starting to wonder if there were any more safe spaces left open for her.

*

When she started living with Mercedes, the black girl told her that everyone else had deliberately kept the details of the baby drama from Rachel. That hadn't stopped Rachel from going forth and figuring it out on her own. Quinn might have wondered what had possessed Rachel to have so much of an interest in her life, but she knew the answer was definitely Finn, and certainly not Quinn.

Finding out that Rachel had gotten the information indirectly out of Puck had just given Quinn one more healthy reason to add to the list that Puck really wasn't ready to be a father. No more than Finn. 

And Quinn was _not_ ready to be a mother. 

It was difficult, the rest of those nine months, carrying a baby that she knew she would not be keeping. In the end, Beth was adopted. Her daughter got to keep the name that Quinn and Puck had agreed would be the only real gift they gave to their daughter. Rachel's birth mom, Shelby Corcoron, got to take Beth home. 

And if that didn't make things difficult in Quinn's mind... the fact that Beth would be brought up by the birth mother of the girl she had bullied and tormented and knew to have a heart of gold for the first six months of the school year. Of course, Quinn never had any say in who the adoptive mother for her daughter would be.

After Beth was born, and she moved back into her parents' home, it was almost like Quinn's life could return to what it had been before. 

Almost.


End file.
